Who Are You Rooting For?

Whenever our family sits down to watch football, it is always interesting to watch my children decide who they are rooting for. My five-year-old son is often torn, but usually picks the team his father is rooting for. My three-year-old daughter on the other hand, is very strategic with her allegiance. Rather than picking a team, she prefers to choose one person and root for them. At the beginning of each game, she carefully scans both sets of uniforms and proudly announces her chosen number. “Number 63, that’s who I’m rooting for!” “You have to choose a team,” my son often explains. “No, I don’t, I’m just rooting for one person,” she responds. “But you have to pick a team.” “No I don’t.” “Yes you do!” “No I don’t.” “Mom!” my son shouts, “Aren’t you supposed to root for a whole team?” “It’s a team. Isn’t it wrong to root for one player?”

I’m sure you can already see where I am going with this. It is very obvious when a manager or supervisor is playing favorites. Employees are watching. They are keeping score of how many times you go to lunch with someone and how often they interrupt a conversation between the two of you. They are listening for your after work plans and to your morning debrief to see which members of your team are included in your personal time. Personal talk before or after meetings, inside jokes and even regularly scheduled carpool arrangements could send clues that someone is being singled out for special treatment. It may be overt or it may be even be unintentional. Whatever the origin, it can be very disruptive. Even with great intentions, personal relationships can interfere with team-wide influence.

This behavior makes employees feel like work is a contest that they will never win. It effects motivation, productivity and could ultimately affect the bottom line. Pretty soon, they may start sounding like my son, “Aren’t you supposed to root for a whole team?” Employees will say this indirectly, through sidebar comments or waiting to be asked rather than volunteering. They may show up late or leave right on the dot of quitting time, just to avoid the feeling of being slighted in conversation. They may even resign or transfer out of fear that performance evaluations could lack objectivity.

What is a manager to do? There is never any harm in remaining as professional as possible. Maintaining a business like decorum while at work, especially if this type of behavior is or has been pervasive in your office, is a must. Connections of a personal nature should not compromise your ability to exude leadership influence over your entire team. Look at your calendar to find out how often you are meeting with your staff. Is it balanced?

If a personal relationship with someone at work is of concern, have a short conversation with the person explaining your needs, boundaries, and your responsibility to your entire team. If they do not understand, it may be time for a new definition of relationship.

Your Pursuit Is My Passion,

Tonya
www.tonyadorsey.com